a lover's discourse
The writing I'm doing right now is about ethic--about the systems each person forms to understand the world and relate to the other/Other. I'm writing about these systems particularly as they intersect with instances of love--systems of love or of renewal of affection and care between and among individuals--and with aesthetic--the beautiful.
Today one of my friends told me that since I've come to England he's seen me change, become comfortable with my own difference. Become more fully able in that difference. To me this means I've become more open, more able to give affection and love. I do feel like I'm expanding.
My research feels very integral now to who I am and who I want to be.
As I write this I sit in my office, sharing a desk with my friend K., thinking about how much the world fills itself with wonder, beauty, joy, and something like the edge of pain. How much has happened--will happen--that is not easy. But I do think, and my reading and thinking here is only convincing me more of this, that approaching the world and the changes with love and openness is the best way forward.
(A Lover's Discourse is one of the books I'm using in my research; it's by Roland Barthes.)
Today one of my friends told me that since I've come to England he's seen me change, become comfortable with my own difference. Become more fully able in that difference. To me this means I've become more open, more able to give affection and love. I do feel like I'm expanding.
My research feels very integral now to who I am and who I want to be.
As I write this I sit in my office, sharing a desk with my friend K., thinking about how much the world fills itself with wonder, beauty, joy, and something like the edge of pain. How much has happened--will happen--that is not easy. But I do think, and my reading and thinking here is only convincing me more of this, that approaching the world and the changes with love and openness is the best way forward.
(A Lover's Discourse is one of the books I'm using in my research; it's by Roland Barthes.)
posted by Eireann at
5:18 PM
5 Comments:
beautifully stated. and couldn't be more right.
I can't wait to read some of this writing. ethics are so interesting to me because they reflect not only the person but the society as well. and, of course, dynamics between individuals are always something that has really fascinated me. i am sure you will treat the subject wonderfully - your voice is wonderful.
I love that you are allowing the landscape to change you, that there isn't resisting, that you are becoming more comfortable in your self. I've always felt you were an extremely confident woman, one I've long admired for that confidence. I'm also intrigued by your topic, the beautiful in the relationship, the shift and change. You've got a wonderful poetic voice, but you've also got a great essay/academic/critical voice as well--Karen is right, you ought to write essays on poetry too.
xox
PS: This conference is so wonderful... I'm so sad I'm leaving today. I wish all of my poetry friends could be here!
ohhh... i love a lover's discourse. e taught a class just on roland barthes last year (and is teaching empire of signs in tokyo this summer... i wish i could be there!). he is incredible.
the intersection of ethics + aesthetics... it sounds like a wonderful, rich topic. and i loved this in your post: "wonder, beauty, joy, and something like the edge of pain."
xo
I can't help feeling in my own life, that what you said at the end is completely true - that an openness and intentionality towards the world and particularly your own life and experience as it comes is the best way to go... not to just passively let it wash over you, but to engage it with the intention of learning what it has to teach, to become acquainted with each and every detail of it (or as much as you can), to make it a part of yourself... if we simply let life wash over us, or run away from it, we never become...
I love the feeling of expanding into who you are, discovering yourself bit by bit and then working to be that person. I think feeling at home in yourself is an integral part of being able to both give and accept love and affection, to be able to interact with the world, and to be able to 'tame' it, if you will (if you've ever read The Little Prince).
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