Beautiful object

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Thank you for your words, below.
Thank you for looking at the things I make.
Thank you for reading as I write about my remarkable and ordinary daily life.
Thank you for being generous.
Thank you for thinking of me.
Thank you for suggesting things to me I wouldn’t have thought of.
Thank you for commenting and letting me read about your lives, too.
Thank you for being a community that is dispersed and distant but somehow very present just when needed.

small theaters

Films by Joseph Cornell.
Improvisations by David Shapiro.
I updated my layout here to be a bit simpler. Links are over here now and I’m going to try to update them more often. All my highest recommendations for distraction, all in one place.

persephone books

30% off orders in my shop with the code ALMOSTDECEMBER. Calendars ship free with code SHIPFREE11. Both codes valid til 2 December.

pépé and granddaughter

mom | blue chair

Since I started learning Japanese when I was 11, in my private writing (my diaries, datebooks, notes to myself) I have used Japanese words interspersed with English (or French, Dutch, whatever) ones when they feel more appropriate. One of the kanji I always used is 母, which means mother (haha is the pronunciation I am thinking of). I think it is because the character feels very warm to me and very surrounding. My mom did the incredible thing when I was growing up of being totally in my corner without lying to or about me: she made me be honest, she wouldn’t stand up for something I did that wasn’t right, but I would (and still) never feel that she wasn’t absolutely my mom when the chips were down. 母 has a feeling like my mom to me. Maybe only because I have been using that character for a long time just to refer to her, and so it has taken on the characteristics I associate with her. Happy mother’s day, Mom.

let the beauty we love be what we do

Sometime last year, I was thinking about the work I love, poems I see from friends, colleagues, old classmates, poems in journals, magazines, newspapers. I was thinking about the magazine as an object, thinking about stuff that’s been happening lately with big magazines (closing) and smaller ones (popping up online & off like inspiring mushrooms. Yes. Awesome simile prize, please). Okay, so none of those are exactly what I was thinking of for me, but they’re interesting, I like many things that they do, and–most of all–they are out there, making magazines and books. I wanted to add to that conversation and I wanted the work I admire to add to it, too.

I thought, all right, that’s what I want to do. I want to be able to take work I love and put it together and give it an elegant, careful home with other stuff to talk to. I want to arrange things in conversations I find interesting and think others will, too.

Basically, I wanted to make a magazine that would be an extension of the things I value: good work, care, play, attention to the daily; I wanted it to contain writing that would be challenging and beautiful. And most of all I wanted it to be something that people who might not otherwise pick up a literary journal would feel like they could approach.

1110 / number 1

So I made it. It’s called 1110 (say it one-one-one-oh), and you can read all you want to about it over on its very own site. It’s been a lot of learning: how to use InDesign. How to request revisions (over email! I hate this part). How not to get bogged down under the (literal) hundreds of submissions. How to plug my ears when the inevitable naysayers walk by doing their naysaying thing, which, come on, really is about them and not about me (and certainly not about 1110, which they’d have had to have read or even just picked up once before I’d take that seriously).

It’s got ten poems, a short story, and a photograph in it. In the UK, it’s £10, including shipping. If you’re in the US, it’ll set you back just over $20, (also including shipping), but if you’re reading this and would like to have a copy, enter the code “iwanttotry” at checkout and you’ll get 40% off your copy (til next week Monday or Tuesday).

table of contents | 1110/1

I’m working on putting 1110/2 and 1110/3 together now, relearning all the InDesign I apparently forgot and finding new writing I love. Discovering just how apt VIDA‘s statistics are–it’s one thing to read things and have a sense that women are underrepresented, and another to read someone’s statistics confirming that, and another still to realise as I cull submissions that barely one in ten (ONE in TEN!) comes from a woman. Lesson there, talented women writers and photographers: please submit to my magazine.

What’s all this about, in the end? Because it’s not just about–or even primarily about–sourcing papers or designing die-cuts or publicising or even finding the work for in the magazine.

I think it’s about two things: first of all, the lesson I keep learning (keep having to learn) about how lucky I am that most things I want to do, I can do. I set out, I work hard, and I’m in a privileged position (no dependents; generally healthy; supported financially by doing work I love and morally by a partner who doesn’t have a problem with me doing my work despite its financial constraints; surrounded by people who care about what I care about and generally share my politics) that means I can accomplish those things.

cover | 1110/1

Second, it’s about the rich reward I’ve found in focusing my energy on the things that I really love, regardless of their ends being unsure. I know that it’s possible all my work will disappear–that I’ll run out of energy, or grant money, or whatever, and 1110 will just fade away to a couple of boxes of spare copies in some attic. But I also know that now, in this moment, doing the work of making another beautiful thing from the beautiful work of others is my way of kissing the ground. I believe kissing the ground in all of our ways–all our individual, often unnoticed, ways of caring for all the fellow-beings we meet–is a way to honor these lives and the lives of the ones we don’t see.

case de lua | moon house | white | pale green

a rare assortment | luz

Susan Stewart: “[The] souvenir moves history into private time” (On Longing, 138).

Photographs of tile patterns, house shapes, windows, roads, reflections, water, flowers, roofs. Three short videos of the ocean (yes: this was the first time I have been that close to that much water for that amount of time. I now can’t understand how people can bear to live away from it). An orange blossom crushed flat in my notebook, which now smells just faintly of the orchards around Silves.

Many pages of new writing, a couple of ideas for essays, a part-completed story (yeah, I know: what? when did I start to write prose?! I blame the dissertation), a few poems, note on my manuscripts, and two manuscripts that belong to my friend, with my comments on them. And part of a chapter for my dissertation, yes indeed, I even did work-work.

Not to mention just daily recordings of things there.

Wrapped in newspaper, a few shards of tile that I found while out walking. Blue, white, pink, yellow, dark red; I find them so beautiful. And with them the materialising concept for an installation I want to do about archaeology and history and migration.

The smell of salt, rosemary, mint, the memory of the marketplace, the sound of the language. Tiny drawings of buildings, flowers, the coastline, the cobblestones; the memory of swallows flying just for the pleasure of it, and finding their nests, and whistling to them, and turning to go and seeing an old man grinning at my touristy, birdy spectacle.

The desire to make a garden again and to learn more about growing food. Gratitude for hospitality and warmth and dependable sunlight and politeness and rocks and beaches and dusty places to walk and conversation and poetry and good food. And aMAYzing desserts.

Also, of course, an orange. And a lemon.

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